Four questions to argue about productively
Sit down with something cold and work through these together. The aim isn't to win. It's to find out which preferences are firm and which are negotiable.
Traditional Spain or an international community? A quiet Spanish town offers immersion, and demands some Spanish for even routine errands. The established international areas of the south-east coast and the islands offer an easier landing, English-speaking neighbours and a ready-made social life. Neither is the wrong answer, but they're very different lives.
What kind of environment? Beach, mountains, city, or deep countryside. Be honest about the difference between what you enjoy for two weeks and what you want on a wet Tuesday in November. A resort town that fizzes in August can be half-shuttered in winter; for some people that's a drawback, for others it's the point.
What needs to be nearby? Golf, markets, restaurants, a hospital, public transport, and above all an airport with the right routes. If family will visit often, check which airports they can actually fly to before you fall for somewhere three hours from arrivals.
What kind of property? An apartment in a complex with a shared pool means company, lower maintenance and community fees. A villa means privacy and your own pool bill. A renovation project means a whole separate conversation.
For each one, mark your answer as a must-have or a preference. Most couples find the real list of must-haves is shorter than the argument suggested.
